Not a mean spirit, not a kind soul

I'm terrible at being mean to people, and I seriously consider that a weakness. I can be cold and distant but never openly unkind. On the other hand I'm equally bad at showing people my honest affection, no matter how much they deserve it. I sometimes come off as arrogant when I'm really just a little apathetic.

Mom came home late last night, I was still up when she staggered in around 1, crying and smelling of alcohol. Amidst the frantic sobbing I picked up a word or two and read between the lines to understand the context. Someone had called her "old" over drinks, a remark that's more than a slap in the face when it comes to my poor mother.

I really wanted to say something comforting, just because I had the upper hand, but I could only think of one thing as I buried my head in her white Givenchy overcoat and gave her a technical hug: this cashmere is so incredibly soft.