Now you've disappeared somewhere

My dear ones, how was Easter for you?

I just woke up alone and completely rested, without any noticeable traces of nightmares. My skin is intact and my heart keeps beating. S came by last night, I could tell she was upset and that all I needed to do was to be close to her, like she has been to me so many times before. Being able to give some warmth back to a person who's always been there for me felt amazing, like a weight that's finally taken off my shoulders. I even forgot about mother and her friends for a while although their music kept piercing through the floorboards all night long.

S is so adorably shy and Christian, sleeping next to me in a pair of blue jean shorts and a silk blouse while I'm in my underwear. She's the best friend I've got now that so many are not here anymore. I miss Signe, I miss Miri, and I even miss Sarah, who might have stolen a fair-haired boy from me, but at least managed to teach me some Swedish swearwords.

Those times were just memories to me up until now, but lately they have begun hurting, sort of like a rose thorn under my summer clothes. I just hope it doesn't get any worse.